Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Halloween Edition: "The Real Housewives of Grove Manor" ★★★★

Last Sunday, the new hit reality show "The Real Housewives of Grove Manor" premiered on Bravo. The reality show is set in the Braintree Massachusetts' nursing home, Grove Manor, and gives viewers insight into the lives of Braintree's eldest. I sat down with one of the stars of the show, Vera Brady, to discuss her new fame and next week's episode.

Rachel: "It is a pleasure to have you here Vera, thank you for joining me."

Vera: "Sure, sure, you're welcome. Now let's make this quick, or else I'm going to miss Wheel of Fortune."

R: "Um okay. Tell us Vera, how has becoming a reality TV star changed your life?"

V: "Well people won't leave me the fuck alone, for starters. Just yesterday some cooze kept yapping her trap to me while I was in line at Tedeschi. All I wanted to do was get my pack of Virginia Slims and Quick Pick lottery ticket in peace, but God forbid she allows me that!"

R: "Yes, I can imagine how tough it will –"

V: "And those damn grandkids of mine! They already had me six feet under before the show and now all I hear is 'Grammy'-this and 'would you like some warm milk before bed'-that. Do I look like a goddamn kitten to you? Do I have soft fluffy ears and whiskers? For heaven's sake, I haven't purred since the 60's!"

R: "How about your costars? How is their new fame being handled?"

V: "What a bunch of fudge packers! You all think 'oh boo-hoo, poor Betty' because she has you fooled into thinking she has Alzheimer's. She's got a good thing going, you know? She 'accidently' wanders into Charlie's room at night because she 'forgets where she is.' And Dorothy! God that woman makes me wish I died in child birth! Her baking tastes like shit, and she thinks no one notices she cheats in Bingo; lady, we know it didn't take you that long to find your napkin under Tom's table. She's a regular Blanche Dubois, that one."

R: "Before we wrap this up, can you give our readers a sneak peek into next week's episode?"

V: "Sure, let's see. . . Betty auditions for a Frank's Red Hot Sauce commercial, Dorothy gets a coupon for Metamucil, and I shit myself during a sponge bath."

Well, there you have it folks. Don't miss the second episode of Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Grove Manor" on Sunday, 8/7c.

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