Thursday, April 21, 2011

Mexican Scandal for US Presidential Hopeful Michelle Bachmann

April 1st, 2011 - Minneapolis – A potential presidential bid by Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) hit a major stumbling block this afternoon amid revelations that she visited Cancun during Spring Break of 1986. Photos surfaced earlier this week that allegedly show the junior congresswoman, then a senior at Oral Roberts University, participating in the annual Señor Frog’s Wet T-Shirt contest. Speaking on conditions of anonymity, a source from inside her staff has confirmed that the photos are real. The pictures have sparked outrage among Bachmann’s base constituency, made up largely of traditionally conservative Tea Party voters. A poll released this morning shows a 12% drop in her approval rating when compared to last Friday, before the news of her vacation to Mexico became public. Predicting that the handling of this scandal will define the shape of any future presidential campaign, cable news pundits have been analyzing the situation in detail since the photos were published on Wednesday. “It’s shameful,” commented Bill O’Reilly, “It’s absolutely shameful that we might elect a president capable of such poor judgment. We deserve a commander-in-chief that parties in Daytona or Long Beach like a decent American.” Sean Hannity demanded an immediate investigation into Bachmann’s passport, to see what other foreign visa stamps the congresswoman might have acquired in her youth. Meanwhile, Glenn Beck questioned the patriotism of Bachmann in a more direct manner during his daily radio program. “I’m just wondering,” he said, “when Representative Bachmann visited Mexico in 1986, wasn’t that about the time that the Zapatistas – a Marxist revolutionary organization, a socialist organization – wasn’t that about the time they were organizing? Who was she meeting with at the time? We’ve never seen Subcomandante Marcos’ face. For all we know, he could be Bachmann in disguise. I’m not saying he is. I’m just asking the question.” Rep. Bachmann has been keeping surprisingly mute about the scandal, so far. It could be that her public relations team is attempting to garner the votes of a large number of Gringo-American’s in the Midwest. By neither embracing, nor denying the photos, she may attract sympathy from millions of white voters who frequent Taco Bell after midnight, invest heavily in Jose Cuervo, and listen to Shakira and Menudo. Her potential rivals are not resting on their laurels. Already, Sarah Palin, the on-again, off-again presidential candidate and former governor of Alaska has commented via Twitter, “Will be doing a meet & greet @ Sturgis this year for Real Americans. Body shots & autographs, $50.” When contacted for a response, a member of Newt Gingrich’s staff declined to comment on Rep. Bachmann’s situation, but vehemently noted that former House Speaker Gingrich “does not even own a passport. His credentials speak for themselves.”

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