Thursday, May 6, 2010

Freddy Got Fingered: The Worst of Them All

What certain qualities could a movie have in order to be recognized as the worst movie ever? For one thing, movies are usually poorly reviewed because of the actors and their poor performances, their lack of some appealing plot and also because of the failed promises that the movie preview proclaimed. When I think of all these features in regards to a movie's quality, only one movie comes to mind, and that is the 2001 movie, Freddy got Fingered. Not only does this movie have horrible actors, such as Tom Green and his sick and twisted mind, but the movie overall did not seem to have an overarching, appealing point to it. You would think that a 93 minute movie that featured some of Hollywood’s proclaimed comedians would have some entertainment, but it only concluded in utter disappointment. Some people may have different opinions of what exactly constitutes good humor and praise Tom Green for his style of comedy, but trust me when I say that there are a lot more people out there who think that Tom Green has some loose screws and has a completely dry, crappy sense of humor. Even after 9 years, I still remember this movie and consider it one of the worst films I have ever had to suffer through.

In the movie, Tom Green plays Gord Brody, a 28-year old man who still lives at home with his parents. His bedroom is the basement, where he sits and draws cartoons and dreams about one day becoming an animator. Taking on the apparent role of a person with physiological issues, (which seems to tie in just right with the actor himself who actually wrote this piece of crap), the things he gets himself into are not at all humorous. In one instance of the move, he goes to visit a Hollywood animator in order to better improve his own skills. The Hollywood animator tells him that he will become better if he “gets inside his animals,” and the characters interpretation of that is to skin a stag and frolic around the room dressed in a coat, covered in blood.

Not only is this humor sick and twisted, but the various sexual references mentioned in the movie just made me want to turn my head and vomit. The character has a romantic interest in a disabled girl named Better, who dreams of rocket-powered wheelchairs and oral sex. When Gord sees her on the street and asks her how she’s feeling, she answers “I’d be a lot better if you'd smack my legs with this bamboo.” Not only are the imaginations that the girl envisions just ridiculously insulting and crude, but picturing Tom Green in any sexual act is nauseating.

What seemed to bring me over the edge was when Tom Green’s character thought that his father’s molestation of his younger brother was funny. After Gord riggs a pulley system so he can eat sausages and work on his drawings, he makes up a little song for his father so he can play on his electric keyboard while eating the hanging sausages. “Daddy would you like some sausage,” became a very familiar song, but in reality, it just added to the failed attempts of humor.
The most sickening scene of them all though, is the part when Tom Green’s character decided to visit a friend in the hospital and decided to become an obstetrician and deliver a women’s baby. Not only is the idea of some insane man delivering a baby absurd, but Green actually rips the baby from the womb, and begins swinging it around his head by its umbilical cord, trying to save it from dying, and sprays the walls with blood and guck. So please, save yourself from ever considering watching this movie. It’s contains one failed attempt of humor after another, with sick characters and immoral, nauseating scenes.

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