Thursday, April 1, 2010

Life in the Fast Lane

The Route 95 rest stop at Mile Marker 17 has seen a recent baby boom thanks to the newly automated Baby Safe Haven Drop Box. The contemporary system was put into place with the help of the Massachusetts Highway Authority and Saint Jude’s Hospital.

Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald of the Highway Authority explains that, “The baby can be placed into a pull out drawer located on the drop box. At which point it will then be gently escorted along a series of underground train tracks, eventually depositing the baby at Saint Jude’s.”

During the 12 mile commute from Dedham to Boston, the child will encounter numerous pitfalls which simulate the calming, rocking motion that infants require. The cavernous walls are lined with torches to allow for the baby to see the entertaining clown decorations along the way as well. “It’s kinda like one of them Indiana Jones movies,” adds “Fitzy,” “but for babies.”

Dutch manufacturer De Melker was the designer of the state of the art drop box system, with help from the MBTA. The company was referred to the project by Boston Mayor Thomas Menino who previously hired the firm to construct public restrooms throughout the city.

So far the new system has managed to deliver seven new babies to the hospital with only one reported accident. Talks are ongoing to place additional drop boxes at the Route 1 Sonic and “somewheres on the Pike,” according to “Fitzy.”

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