Just recently, etsy.com released the Rear Gear Butt Covers, designed specifically to cover up your precious dog’s rear. Handmade in Portland, Oregon, this spiffy little fanny-cover won’t allow your dog’s tush to be publicly exposed anymore and will permit both you and your baby a more comfortable day at the park. Designer, Robert Assmount says “I was like sick and tired of people always staring at my little dog’s bum. I would like go to a nearby field and there’d be all these people staring at his small black hole. It’s kinda sick and perverted, I think. It’s like staring at some kid’s anus or something.”
Maura Fields, a mother of two children and two dogs, just purchased a cupcake shaped Rear Gear and is very glad with her investment. “I’m so glad someone out there in Oregon invented this,” Maura says, “This past weekend I dropped off my children at my mother’s and took Dolly and Biscuit to a nearby park. They both had their Rear Gears on and I swear they were playing and running around more comfortably. I have never seen them so happy.”
Rear Gear scientists also conducted systematic research to prove the increase in dogs pleasure. After randomly selecting 20 dogs and placing the Rear Gear on only 10, scientists sought to observe how differently the dogs’ would react. Scientist, Thomas Flinkenstein claims, “After some intense research, this new mechanism has been scientifically proven to boost your dog’s confidence.”
Cesar Millian, the Dog Whisperer, confirmed these results while conversing with Scientist Flinkenstein. “I had this deep spiritual conversation with one of the dogs and let me tell you, he was definitely more pleased. He said to me ‘Cesar, I don’t feel a breeze in my poop shooter no more.”
Assmount made sure to please everyone’s style and made numerous designs, including a shiny disco ball, a fragranced flower, a yellow smiley face and many more. If you’re not satisfied with their selection, you can even customize your own. Don’t waste any more time, contact the small business through etsy.com and purchase the Rear Gear for only $2, plus shipping and handling.